Do you have a favorite song by this musical duo or a favorite memory about enjoying their music? Are you inspired by their enduring love? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
“Now, I don't need no superstar. 'Cause I'll accept you as you are. You won't be denied. 'Cause I'm satisfied. With the love you inspire.” —“You Don’t Have to Be a Star (To Be in My Show)”
Music legends Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis Jr. have been married and performing together for nearly six decades. Grace and gratitude are key to their harmonious union.
“We trust each other. To be successful, you have to trust,” says Davis. “You can’t be sitting around thinking about what [your spouse] is doing and where they’re going.”
McCoo says learning to accept each as they are also helped to shift the dynamic of their relationship, which at times was contentious.
“Don’t try to change each other. Because after a while you realize you are not going to change each other,” she says.
“It ain’t gonna happen,” Davis chimes in with a laugh.
“That’s what we try to tell people about making your relationship work. Remember those things that you liked about them when you first got together and made you want to be with them,” adds McCoo.
I’ve had the pleasure to spend time with this dynamic duo while developing a forthcoming documentary about them with my spouse and production partner. The first time I met McCoo, I fangirled about how much I loved watching her as the glamorous host of the 80s music countdown show, Solid Gold. From her heyday with the 5th until now, McCoo is a timeless beauty who exudes grace and has the voice of an angel. At age 82, she is still a stunner.
Meanwhile, the 87-year-old Davis remains a charming and distinguished gentleman. His soulful, gospel-rooted vocals are the perfect complement to Marilyn's more polished pop sound.
As members of the wholesome and well-harmonized group The 5th Dimension, they broke racial and cultural barriers in the late 60s and early 70s with crossover hits like “Up, Up and Away,” “Age of Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In,” “Stoned Soul Picnic” and “Wedding Bell Blues.”
In recent years, fans have been happy to see that the love birds are still going strong. The seven-time Grammy winners continue to tour and make appearances—notably, in 1999 as Fancy’s bougie parents on The Jamie Foxx Show and as themselves in Questlove’s 2022 Oscar-winning documentary, Summer of Soul, which chronicles the 1969 free Harlem Cultural Festival where The 5th Dimension performed, on the same bill as Stevie Wonder and Gladys Knight.
On paper, however, they have always been an unlikely pair. McCoo is a tall, poised UCLA graduate and the daughter of two Los Angeles medical doctors, and Billy is a shorter, streetwise former serviceman from a working class family in St. Louis.
Once we got our faith issue together, I think we got even more on one accord. Some of the arguments [we had early on] would be about faith, and once we started [practicing our] faith together, it brought us that much more together.
But as the saying goes, opposites attract.
“I guess I was just a happy-go-lucky, fun guy who God gave a little talent to. I was out trying to use and make the best of it, and that’s one of the things Marilyn liked about me,” Davis recalls.
They wed in 1969 and have been making beautiful music together ever since, including the 2021 release, Blackbird: Lennon-McCarthy Icons, which includes Marilyn’s heartfelt cover of “Blackbird” and Billy’s plaintive rendition of “Help!”
“We both shared a passion for music and we both wanted to be singers. That was just part of who we were,” says McCoo.
“When you meet somebody who understands that and doesn’t try to make you explain it or change—they understand what motivates you and what motivates each other—that makes it easier.”
When McCoo and Davis left The 5th Dimension in 1975, they took center stage as a successful duo—they climbed the charts with their 1976 Grammy-winning hit “You Don’t Have to Be a Star (To Be in My Show)” and in 1977 they became the first African American couple to host a network television show with The Marilyn McCoo & Billy Davis Jr. Show on CBS.
Their loving partnership is a blessing and during my interactions with McCoo and Davis, I marvel at how much they still enjoy each other’s company, and how patient and kind they are with one another.
They co-authored the 2004 book Up, Up and Away…How We Found Love, Faith and Lasting Marriage in the Entertainment World, which reveals that they have not always had a perfect union. It gives words of inspiration to other couples by sharing their testimony of how they survived career, relationship and health challenges together.
“When you get to 56 years of marriage, you're just looking forward to I guess everything continuing to be the same,” says Davis.
“And you're grateful for your health and your ability to move around,” adds McCoo.
How they keep the music playing
Prior to their 56th wedding anniversary in July, I spoke with them about how they keep the music playing. This interview has been lightly edited for length and clarity.
Sisters from AARP: How do you usually celebrate your anniversary?
Davis: A lot of times it’s just the two of us, and we go to a nice place for dinner. [We] reminisce about our years together – what we’ve done, people we’ve met, places we’ve been, that sort of thing. And being thankful to still be holding on to one another.
Sisters from AARP: How do you look after one another?
McCoo: Billy has gone through his health challenges. And I deal with my health challenges that haven't been quite as serious. So I just try to make sure that we're eating well. And Billy’s good about that. He doesn't give me a hard time.
Sisters from AARP: You’ve shared with me about how early in your relationship you used to argue a lot. How did you learn to resolve conflict?
Davis: Later on one or both of us might come back and apologize. McCoo: Apologizing doesn’t hurt. And if it does hurt, learn how to deal with it [laughs].
Davis: That came with time and getting to know one another, wanting to be with one another, and trusting one another. When conflict came up, we would go for it. Then later on we’d figure out it really didn’t mean as much as we thought it did. We were just arguing for nothing, just blowing off a little steam. Then the next day, you’re alright. So, if you go through enough of those, you start to [realize], it doesn’t make sense to get yourself in an uproar for nothing.
McCoo: You kind of resolve it by realizing there will be areas where you don’t agree. So you agree to disagree. When [those topics] do come up, you try to avoid them. You realize, what’s more important is the relationship.
Davis: Later on one or both of us might come back and apologize.
McCoo: Apologizing doesn’t hurt. And if it does hurt, learn how to deal with it [laughs].
Another thing is when it’s something that Billy enjoys that I don’t particularly enjoy—for instance, a sports event—I will go with him to see if there’s something that I can get out of it. Sometimes I enjoy watching him enjoy it. You find a way to make it work.
Sisters from AARP: How do you keep your romantic spark?
McCoo: Well, I’ve always thought Billy was kind of cute.
Davis: We still think we’re teenagers. So that’s easy. We see each other like we did years ago.
McCoo: Try not to lose that.
Davis: Yeah, if you lose that, you lose it all.
Sisters from AARP: You are both born again Christians and you have a music ministry called Soldiers For the Second Coming. How has your shared faith strengthened your marriage?
Davis: Once we got our faith issue together, I think we got even more on one accord. Some of the arguments [we had early on] would be about faith, and once we started [practicing our] faith together, it brought us that much more together.
McCoo: We find scriptures that speak to us in a powerful way, and help us deal with whatever the challenge is that we or the world is faced with. We share and pray about it together. But there are times when perhaps prayer time alone is important, and asking the Lord to clarify, where I will say, “Lord, I’m not getting this. I’m really having a hard time with this. Please help me, show me and direct me.” Through the years, I’ve learned a lot from this.
Sisters from AARP: What traits do you like or admire most about each other?
McCoo: I love Billy’s sense of humor. I love that Billy is very kind and he enjoys people. Billy is a good person. He has a beautiful heart.
Davis: Marilyn has a great sense of humor, too. That’s what makes it work. We still laugh at stuff we did years ago and stuff we’re doing today. And the little jokes and craziness that we do with each other, it works for us.
McCoo: Then there are some things that Billy thinks are funny, and I don’t think they’re funny [laughs]. Like slapstick. I think that’s a bore.
Davis: Another thing I like is that Marilyn is game for learning and hanging out with me. And I try to do things she likes, like shopping. She listens to my opinion. If she looks good in something, I say let’s get it. But if I've been in a store too long, I can get antsy.
Sisters from AARP: What is one song that you love to sing from your music catalogue?
McCoo: Oh, Lord, there are so many. There’s one song that we do that I enjoy singing and that’s “I Believe in You and Me.”[She hums] “I believe in you and me. I believe that we will be in love eternally…I believe in dreams again. I believe that love will never end.”
Davis: Yeah, that song, and “And I Love Her” from our latest CD. There’s another song [I sang lead on with the 5th Dimension] called “Leave A Little Room,” because it tells a great story. “Leave a little room and start again.”
Sisters from AARP: You are a charitable couple. What are some of the organizations and causes that are important to you?
McCoo: We were in the beginnings of the Children’s Miracle Network. We [did] the telethons every year, which were wonderful. A diverse group of entertainers were there, like Jayne Kennedy. Also our involvement with the United Negro College Fund. We like to make a difference in the lives of people because we’ve been blessed in so many special ways. We like to use our visibility.
Davis: With the Children’s Miracle Network, we used to visit children in hospitals, which kept us close to it. Then with the United Negro College Fund, we wanted to help older kids with higher learning and make sure they had enough money for scholarships. I didn’t have a chance to experience going to college, but there was a reason why. And I wanted to make sure that I could help [others] get a chance to experience that. We’re always trying to pay it forward.
Do you have a favorite song by this musical duo or a favorite memory about enjoying their music? Are you inspired by their enduring love? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
