What’s something you’re enjoying more now that you are older? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Karen Walrond’s new book In Defense of Dabbling: The Brilliance of Being a Total Amateur is the type of reading we all need at midlife and beyond. As the title affirms, dabbling is an act of brilliance. Resisting the pressure to be perfect at everything can be so freeing and even fun!
Don’t you remember when you were younger and the world was new? As a child, you made fast friends, used your imagination to play outside until the street lights came on and tried new things to see if you liked them. But, if you are like me, the older you became, the more you second guessed things, and ultimately stopped being that carefree, curious child. Luckily, as we mature into our 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond, we generally become much less self-conscious, allowing us to recapture the wide-eyed, adventurous energy of our youth.
I stepped out of my comfort zone by taking a comedy class! That’s right, I learned some basics on stage presence and even did a one-minute stand-up! It was truly an amazing, surreal experience. I didn’t do it for anyone else but me. I did something that I never contemplated before, and it was exciting and made me proud of myself. If I can do that, I can do many other things!
Recapture that sense of discovery with Waldrond's Seven Attributes of Intentional Amateurism
- Curiosity: Allowing your curiosity to prompt you to try new things lets you know exactly what interests you and what doesn’t
- Mindfulness: requires you to slow down and savor an activity
- Self-compassion: Learn to deal with discouragement and keep moving forward
- Play: Let loose, go where your imagination takes you
- Zone-stretching: Move outside of your comfort zone and amaze yourself
- Connection: Do things for actual connection rather than social media posts
- Awe: Become reenchanted with the world
Absorbing Walrond's personal details about learning how to surf, taking up photography, playing a new instrument, and even throwing pottery, I recalled a time when I stepped out of my comfort zone by taking a comedy class! That’s right, I learned some basics on stage presence and even did a one-minute stand-up! It was truly an amazing, surreal experience. I didn’t do it for anyone else but me. I did something that I never contemplated before, and it was exciting and made me proud of myself. If I can do that, I can do many other things!
I quickly learned that both the discovery of new activities and the act of pursuing them often felt like a form of self-transcendence, and in my opinion, that’s the highest form of self-care there is.
This book made me realize just how important it is to recall the things we’ve always wanted to try or do, even if we may not be good at them, because it is in the doing that we rediscover ourselves.
Walrond poses questions like “What did you love to do as a kid?” and “What did you do on your most playful vacation?” These questions are designed to encourage you to get up, get out, and do something! After all, there is no time like the present, and who says that you can’t spend your time trying something new? Go for it, have fun and repeat!
Sisters caught up with the author to learn more about the gifts of amateurism
You pose poignant questions, one of which is, "What did you love to do as a kid?” Why is it important to remember something like this?
When we’re kids, I think we’re much freer with curiosity and exploring what looks interesting—as we grow older, responsibilities (both real and perceived) tend to take over our conscious mind, to the detriment of our self-care. By remembering the activities that captured our minds and spirits as youngsters, we can discover clues about the avocations that might have the same impact on us as adults. For example, maybe as a 10-year-old, you loved riding your bike because it felt like flying—maybe now, dusting off your bike will give you the same feeling (or maybe it’s time for flight lessons!).
You indicate that who and what we follow on social media can impact our ability to embrace dabbling. How so?
I find myself mesmerized by people who do amazing things online—activities I’ve never tried myself. There are folks who create lush gardens, make intricate pastries, throw beautiful pottery, or refurbish tattered furniture into something stunning. When we follow people who are doing interesting things online, they’re giving us a glimpse into what our lives might be like if we did the same. So, if we’re trying to think about ways to use our spare time to bring us joy and we find ourselves stymied, scrolling through our social media feeds can help provide suggestions for what to try next!
The Seven Attributes evoke joy. How can readers stay focused on joy through amateurism?
One of the biggest hindrances to connecting with joy when we try anything new is succumbing to perfectionism: that nagging feeling that suggests that nothing is worth doing unless it’s done perfectly. The Seven Attributes of Intentional Amateurism can help us stay in curiosity and play as we pursue our avocations. They help us practice self-compassion, and can even help us access wonder and awe. And doing these activities, purely for the love of doing them, helps us stay tethered to joy.
Would you say that play is a form of self-care?
One hundred percent—in ways that I don’t think I realized before I began writing the book! For many of us, some of the traditional forms of self-care—like meditation, perhaps, or mindfulness—can feel awkward when we’re first giving it a go. The beauty of amateurism, or even play, is that it helps us access all the benefits of these traditional self-care forms, with the bonus that our hobbies feel natural to pursue, simply because we love doing them. I quickly learned that both the discovery of new activities and the act of pursuing them often felt like a form of self-transcendence, and in my opinion, that’s the highest form of self-care there is.
What’s something you’re enjoying more now that you are older? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
