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Black Women Who Get What They Want Do These 4 Things Daily

Dream big. Really big. Then get ready to stretch a day at a time. Success-guide author and CEO Teneshia Warner has tips for creating the life you desire.

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Jasmine Alston Photography
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Teneshia Warner started living her dream in 2003. That was the year she left her comfortable job as a project manager at IBM Global Business Services to pursue life as an entrepreneur. Currently, she is CEO of EGAMI Group, a multicultural marketing and communications agency that has won an enviable number of prestigious awards. Getting to success was a process that inspired Warner’s mission to help people work through their fears and self-doubt in order to reach their own goals. She is also author of The Big Stretch: 90 Days to Expand Your Dreams, Crush Your Goals, and Create Your Own Success. It’s what she calls a 12-week action guide, inspirational tool and workbook to help bring your dream to life.

There is another version of yourself waiting to meet you on the other side of you taking the risk.
author Teneshia Warner

The Big Stretch explores that process of getting to success, no matter your age or stage in life, and growing the confidence it takes to step into your dreams. Take Michelle, for example, who had climbed the corporate ladder in communications for years. In her early 50s, she dreamed of landing a top job as CEO at a private marketing firm. However, Warner told this client that "I believe your stretch is going to look like the opposite of what got you to this point. You're going to have to be true to yourself." That advice led Michelle to leave her secure job and decompress for a few months before she designed plans to launch her own marketing firm.

Likewise, Amanda, a lawyer who hated her job at a midsize bank, dreamed of a new corporate position. She listened to Warner and took a leap of faith, leaving that company and focusing on landing an opportunity that eventually made her happy.

The roles that women you trust and confide in to help you step into your personal power are numerous. They act as cheerleaders, supporters and accountability partners.
author Teneshia Warner

Below, Warner shares "pow’HER’ful habits" that you can adopt immediately in order to get what you want out of life. She reveals that "these habits are based on my circle of influence."  Who are the guiding girlfriends in your own sister circle? The roles that women you trust and confide in to help you step into your personal power are numerous, according to Warner. They act as cheerleaders, supporters and accountability partners. If it's tough to get your confidence crew together (due to busy schedules, life in different cities), why not hold virtual meetups instead?

And Now for Those PowHER’ful Habits 

Say yes to the stretch. “There is one commonality among all dreamers,” Warner says. “They are willing to stretch beyond their comfort zones and venture toward their dreams. Oftentimes, a new position, a new idea, or a new life choice … lies within the unknown. There is another version of yourself waiting to meet you on the other side of you taking the risk."3
Do not take yourself too seriously. Warner advises giving "yourself room to be human and giving yourself grace makes for a much more joyful experience. Additionally, practicing this habit cuts down on fear. If you realize that you don't necessarily have to show up perfect and that all you have to do is try your best, then you are going to be willing to try more things without waiting for the perfect moment."
Make yourself and your spiritual practice a priority. "If so many people are pulling from you to be a source of energy, you may wake up one day and realize you are running on empty," Warner advises. "Being intentional to incorporate self-care practices into your daily life is important."3 As part of caring for yourself, you can build a “connection through spiritual practices [such as] prayer, meditation, going to church, etc. Spiritual practices ground us, they connect us with God and with others … [giving] your life’s journey and purpose greater meaning," Warner says.
Learn to appreciate silence. For some of us, making time for stillness and silence   means rising before everyone else in our household. An uninterrupted thirty minutes is a wonderful time to journal, meditate, pray, exercise, reflect on your vision board or simply appreciate the start of a new day. What about living without TV to get that quiet? Think about what you could accomplish if you didn't spend hours binge-watching addictive shows? Those are hours you could be working on your goals, all in pursuit of your big dream.

It’s likely you’re already doing some, or even all, of the above. The real magic lies in keeping every single habit every single day. Commit to maintaining these habits starting now to begin what Warner calls your “dream journey.”