Find the Love of Your Life in 2020
Learn how these sisters met their soul mates at midlife — and how you can, too!
In middle age, finding a partner, just like making new friends, can feel harder. In this era of social media and sexting, how do you even begin? Are blind dates still a thing? Are apps the way to go? Modern dating can be so exhausting — and the pool of eligible partners can seem so small — that it’s tempting to resign yourself to never finding your happily ever after.
“It can be easy to give up hope of finding someone who’s on the same page,” agrees Erin Tillman, aka the Dating Advice Girl, a Los Angeles-based dating coach, author and podcast host. “[But] you never know when or how you might meet a potential new love interest. So keep going to networking events, dinner parties and anything where you can break out of your routine and expand your social circles. You can meet someone anywhere!”
Anywhere? Yes! These five women, who found love in the mall, on blind dates and even in rehab, are living proof. Enjoy their success stories, and then get out there and get social!
She stopped thinking marriage wasn’t in the cards for her.
The happy couple: Michelle Taylor Davis (44) and Troy Davis (53)
Together/married for: Together for seven years, married for three years
Why she was ready for love: “After believing [for so long] that I never would, I began to realize that perhaps I really could be married one day.”
How they met: “My aunt called me one night and asked if it was OK for her to give my number to a coworker. I agreed, and he called me minutes later.”
What made them click: “The first time we talked it was a four-hour phone conversation.”
How they make it work: “He’s both my lover and my best friend.”
Love lesson: Finding a soul mate happens when we believe in our souls that the love we deserve will find us.
She ditched her disappointment and took destiny into her own hands.
The happy couple: Candyce Ford (51) and Paul Engelbart (44)
Together/married for: Together for eight years, married for four years
Why she was ready for love: “After making the conscious decision to be single for about three years, my mindset had been resignation. It didn’t seem like there was anyone who had the same interests as I did. But then, something told me that wasn’t the way to go. I just decided I was going to find ‘the one.’”
How they met: Candyce made a list of all the qualities she wanted in her mate and ventured online to find him.
What made them click: “When we met for the first time, we finished each other’s sentences, and once we said exactly the same thing at the same time.”
How they make it work: “Love, communication and respect. Even when times are tough, we make sure everything that’s spoken or done has those three components.”
Love lesson: Taking a break from dating can help you clarify what matters to you. But view that time as a reset instead a rut. Solitude is a season, not a life sentence.
She was resigned to being alone. But hope changed everything.
The happy couple: Rolanda Brown (51) and Mark Adams (61)
Together/married for: Together for two years
Why she was ready for love: Despite her initial skepticism, Rolanda decided to give online dating a try.
How they met: “Our first date was a bit of a mess. He woke up late, but called me. I was very irritated, but I gave him credit for telling me what happened. Some guys would have ghosted me, but he was respectful and owned up to his blunder.”
What made them click: “He had a good sense of humor. He’s a complete nerd and there was something very attractive about that. As we spent more time together, I realized he was a good man who really cared for me and loved me.”
How they make it work: “We’re friends, and we have fun. A drive to the coast becomes an adventure.”
Love lesson: A bad first impression may just be a data point, not a deal breaker.
She found a partner when she was at her lowest point.
The happy couple: Debra Robinson (60) and Tina Knight (53)
Together/married for: Together for 10 years
Why she was ready for love: “I didn’t know that I was. I’d just come out of a four-year relationship. I didn’t think I’d find love again.”
How they met: “Tina [was] in the same recovery program I was. I couldn’t believe it, having not seen her in more than 20 years. We were in similar places in life, both coming out of addiction and getting help. That ultimately brought us together.”
What made them click: “Tina laughs at all of my jokes. She’s a great cook. We’re attentive to each other’s needs. I know she has my back and wants the best for me. And I feel the same.”
How they make it work: “We love to take long drives or spend a night out in the country. We also love open mic night, dancing and dressing up. It’s always a good time.”
Love lesson: “You have to be able to trust and not bring your past into your relationship.”
In the market for companionship, she found it at the mall.
The happy couple: Barbara Cross (71) and Floyd Crawford (77)
Together/married for: Together for 12 years
Why she was ready for love: “I’d had only one relationship, [having] been married for 41 years until my husband passed away. [But] after a year I missed traveling and having a companion.”
How they met: “I became a mall walker. A fellow walker asked if he could pass along my number to a friend of his, and I said yes.”
What made them click: “When I met him, I thought he was someone who was solid; he’s a Christian, a decent guy and a veteran.”
How they make it work: “I feel like I have a true partner, which was unexpected at this juncture. We’ve been on several cruises, so it’s not just an emotional journey, but a literal one as well.”
Love lesson: After the loss of a partner, you may not think you’re open to new love. That’s OK. Be open to companionship.